The cat is under the table.

M: *im just wondering my dear... what about life?

S: *your second name is interesting

M: *are we really alive? or is it all just an illusion?

*maybe we are a project form another world... why do we live?

S: *good question.. maybe we are nothing else but an experiment

M: *yeah, that's what i said, untill somone told me love was the answer.

S: *love suxs, ah? that can't be the answer.. no way

M: *and i wonder, love? what the hell is it?, i mean, isnt love suffering? then we are here to suffer? or maybe just to learn what love's worth.... it's worth a life of suffering.. just for a few minutes of it, even seconds? Ahh... life. love. death. suffering. What complicated human beings we are... I mean, no one understands us. neither do us. what are we? we cannot be just cells, there must be something else.

S: *we are nothing but a bunch of feelings. waiting days, years, maybe a life just to feel we are loved by someone else.

M: *that's sad. I feel pity for myself.

S: *yeah, you should

M: *I dont want to die alone. I really dont. But I'm too scared, to get rejected, to be abandoned. And I harm myself, I mean, i dont want to be alone, But I'm too scared to really get involved with someone.

S: *im sorry to tell ya, that i can assure you wont. nobody can

M: *Yeah we can, what about those people who arent loved, and die alone at the hospitals, streets, maybe even in their houses, where they live an empty life?, I consider that as dying alone.

S: *bad experiences teach us not to do the same mistakes twice. it isnt supposed that love has always a black side. it cant be. the purpose of our lives is not suffering.. YOU WILL find someone someday who will make you feel that every bad experience taught you how to deal with frustration.

M: *yeah, true, But love DOES always have a dark side. If not it isn´t worth, I mean, if you dont have to fight for it, if you don´t try the dark side, then you'll never be able to appreciate love.

S: *yeah, of course it has... but that doesnt mean that it is ALWAYS dark, you have to learn to see the positive things about it. it cant be just suffering.. do you know what i mean?

M: *yes, i know.. I know that every bad experience it's worth. Everything is worth. I mean, I can see the possitive side. Deep down, i really feel, that every mistake, every match won, every little gesture, coincidence, people known, they mean something, like if everything was just a path, and that it always leads to happiness, even if it's at the end. I think, that my intuition about certain things... I dont know, I just feel as if it's right. And then I do it, And the I can see that it happened for a reason

S: *Do you believe in destiny? dont you think that we are the drivers of our own life?? that we have the power of commanding ourselves?

M: *I believe that, But I also believe that intuition is like a guidance, That it's right, That everything happens for a reason. Even the smallest thing

S: *interesting.. we'll never know. that's the challenging misterious and beautiful part of being alive.. living among a routine which we don't know if is right, or wrong, or just useless... living just because we found ourselves in a place not knowing why, but having clear that there must be a purpose. everyone has their purpose. it's the magical thing of being alive to discover which one is.

Thanks Choff, for our bizarre little chat.